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Game Over: How to break up with a 419 scammer

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Poor Miss Angela. Poor Richard Williams. Star-crossed lovers if ever there were such a pair. Distance relationships, they’re tough, you know? Add $27M and the layer of anonymity provided by the Internet and they’re pretty near impossible, I’d say. Especially when one of the lovers is a petty criminal and the other is a fictitious character (albeit a very happy one).

If you’ve been following my turbid relationship with Miss Angela, a typical 419 (or Nigerian) scam, you know that it all came down to the money. She offered to transfer $27 million dollars into my account, marry me, and shag me in my locked room on her weekends off from medical school. But first she needed $800 to fly to Addis Ababa and photocopy her daddy’s will to prove her identity to the bank, and I was the just the person to give it to her.

In the latest and final exchange, I sent her a fake Western Union confirmation number, she went to collect but could not, and came back asking me what’s up. I had to end it. We’re just too different and too far apart. Who are we to think our love could succeed where so many others have failed? Do you think I was too harsh? Can we still be friends?

Read the whole sorry story. The last update is Round 7.

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