Dear CP Deals (that sure is a unique last name),
Wow. All I can say is WOW! I paid only $39 for your certificate booklet and I find inside like, ten million dollars worth of frickin’ awesome deals! I mean a cruise to the Bahamas for $29? I can’t wait to go! Who would I go with though? I better get BUSY if you know what I mean. ;-) I just wish I had a car so I could order the gas cards. Maybe I’ll order them anyway just cuz they’re such an awesome deal. I mean $100 worth of gas for just the processing fee of $4.95??
Ok what’s the secret? You could sell these booklets for $50 or maybe even $100, so why do you let them go for $39? Here’s some free advice: charge MORE! Cuz then you’ll make more money, LOL. I’m surprised you haven’t already figured that out.
I’m sending you the restrant coupon with the processing fee. Does the coupon thing you send back have deals to Weinersnizel? I hope so. I like their corn dogs. I got a corn dog once at a non-weinershizel place and the corn part had a fingernail in it! I don’t know how it got there. But I took it right up to the manager and said, “See this fingernail? How would you like to bite into that?” He threw it right in the garbage. That’s what I’m talkin about! Don’t mess with the big rW (that’s how I always write my initials, cuz rules can’t fence me in. I’m free and loose like that, you know?)
Anyhoo, look at me just chatting along, LOL. I’m writing to you with a business preposition. I said you could make more money by charging more for your booklets and I am a good seller. I could sell a fridge to a mechanic, like they say! When I worked at QwickieMart, people used to ask me where stuff was. I wouldn’t just tell them, like the other workers there did. I did this little thing where I’d make like a rhyme out of their question. “Toilet paper? What a caper! It’s really no mys-ter-y, you’ll find it on aisle 3.” That’s just like an example. The real ones were even better. But you know what? EVERY TIME, the customer went and bought that thing! The other stockers laughed, but they’re still working there and I’m now bussing tables at IHOP. Who’s laughing now?
But anyway, I sell really good. Can you send me like 500 of your booklets? I’ll sell them for $50 instead of the $39 they costed you, so you’ll make like 20 bucks on each sale. I’ll just keep $10 from each one I sell because that’s still like $20 per hour if I sell even only two per hour. So I’ll make $5000 from the booklets, but you’ll make $20,000! And the customers will be happy even though they paid more than normal (shhh! Don’t tell them, LOL).
I’ll be your best salesman ever! I think 500 is enough to get started. Please contact me at my email address so we can arrange the details.